Unexpected..

Life is...
       Miscommunicated. Unfortunate. Crazy. Confusing. Undecided. Unexpected.

When we wake up, all we know is we are alive and we have somewhat of a plan, but the details are truly unknown. We could have woken up late due to us completely relying on technology, but it fails us. We could have woke up and during getting ready you stub your toe, your hair is not cooperating what so ever  and dryer stopped working and your clothes are damp still. Not only are you limping when you get to work, you look like crap.  WHAT A WAY TO START YOUR DAY!

What if you woke up and everything was fine. Everything was working as it should. You get to your car, and it is broken into?

What if everything was fine until your lunch hour and you find out at a cooperate lunch, your identity has been stolen and all your card bounce. Not only are you embarrassed, you are sent into a whirl wind of getting your identity back.

Life is full of unexpected turns and twists.

This past week has been a tornado for me. The work week is starting great. I made a step into my life that will make me a true independent individual on Monday morning. Monday went okay overall. Then came Tuesday. I opened the store up and everything was going good. I even got a "John Wayne" from Starbucks before my shift, that drink contains 5 shot of expresso. So if you can imagine, I was literally bouncing off the walls. Lets say the customer service and attentive scores went up that day! But at 10:30, I happened to answer the phone and hear "Yes, may I speak with Tia Freoidngdfdn" (Of course they pronounce my name wrong). I confirm its me but a few security questions. Soon I find out I'm talking with Visa. They said that large purchases were made late last night on my account and said that they wanted to confirm that I did or did not make these purchases. My emotions were boiling at this moment. I was shaking. WHY ME? How?? My card is always with me. I got online and checked my account and sure enough two transactions were made on my account. One for 120$ to a fruit company in Oregon. The second was 720$ to an american express gift card.

My heart fell to the floor. My Gen. Manager came in and said what was going on. Told her (well screamed really). I was so caught up in the moment. I apologized later, don't worry. I went to the bank and clock out of work (making me miss about 4 hours of work). The lady said it was good that i caught it before it went through into my account. Visa caught them while they were still pending.

I had applied for a card on the 5th of August and I was denied due to "too many applications containing my ssn." The next day I got LifeLock. I'll pay 15$ a month to make sure that my identity isn't stolen anymore.

Overall this whole week has been STRESSFUL.

But then Friday came with not the best news. My Best Friends grandmother had past away after battling some health problems. The woman as I knew named "Magu" was a very sweet grandmother, spoke her mind and also welcomed me into her house on Thanksgiving having never met me before that. Apparently it was rare for her to leave her chair, but when I walked in she got up and hugged me. She was good company watching us play Wii and also loved her grandchildren with everything she had and was.

Though my week was horrible. Death of a special person like that brings everyone back to the basics of what is REALLY important. It brought back memories of my grandmothers life and passing and how fast it all went. She was at my sisters wedding at the end of July, but she passed away in September the same year.  A check-up went wrong. Thanks to the doctors and nurses mistake they took her faster than she really should have gone. I'm not bitter. She is better off up there watching me live life and she still lives on in my blood and in my heart forever. She will always be a part of me. My mom says I have her serving heart.  

The fact that I will see these loved ones once again bring me hope and joy.

God is good, even if we don't understand anything he is doing. Thats why life is confusing. Thats why life is so not what WE planned. God knows when the people has lived their purpose. God knows when they are ready for picking. God knows the right season. God knows when your life is not going the way you want. God probably laughs at our plans. All we see is the small picture in Olive Branch, MS. Not the Universe.

Life is not what we think it is. It is not what we planned. Life is God's property. He is a jealous God. He will always prevail through everything. He is Sovereign. He is Everything this that is Good. Give thanks for the Ups and Downs of life.

 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)


I do not want to lack anything. I want to have perseverance through everything, but I can't have true perseverance without God. Without God, I am selfish in my ways and gaining everything for all the wrong reasons.

Luggage Free

“No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”

Micah 6:8 NLT

I like to start my blogs out with a verse or at least include a verse mainly to keep me from turning the blog into nothing but a place to whine about life.

God has told us what is good. God shows us every moment He can to show what is good. Do you stop and notice it?

I believe that people come in and out of my life for a reason. There are reasons why people stay longer than some and there are reasons why people like me and don't like me for the time we had together. Though I don't like when someone is not "satisfied" or content with who I am, it's un-avoid-able. And You can't dwell on it.

About a month and a half ago, my parents went on vacation for a week, but before they left, at the last dinner, my dad had told me that he had "tweeted". To my surprise my dad had beat me to twitter. So twenty minutes later, I had one too. One reason was to see exactly what he had said and also I didn't want my dad beating me in the "new technology". Well, after that I have been just watching and following others. I found this one "tweeter" called @TheNotebook. It is quotes of relationship and friendship. It tweets every 5 minutes, seriously. But this one stuck out to me. "Never ignore a person who loves and cares for you. One day you may realize you've lost the moon while counting the stars."

It made me think of who have I been ignoring when I was focused on someone or something else. I sat back and thought "hey I'll look at my friends list on facebook, maybe there is someone I need to reach out to?" And there was a lot of people I had not spoken to in a very long time. There were some that I know that don't like me, but somehow we are friends on facebook? I laugh at that. We are friends on facebook, but we have a bad past. It's like when it comes down to "deleting" someone on facebook, it really makes you think, what REALLY happened? Ever think back and can't remember what happened between you and this person. Ever feel like it still hurts? Does it feel like yesterday? 

Have you ever heard of Rob Bell? I haven't read or heard is recent stuff, but I love his mini-message movies. The whole set of movies is over 200$ so I do the cheap version and youtube it. :) But This one still gets me every time.

Watch all of it. It's worth it.

I watch it and the line that catches me is, "If you can't 'wish them well' you haven't forgiven them." If you can't forgive, you are still carrying this luggage.

When you ask "where is God during this.." Ask for him. Give everything to God.

Bottom line: Let Go and Let God. Remember, God hasn't let you go, even if you have. Forgive. God forgave you for what you did too.

Paycheck to Paycheck...

For 6 years now, I've depended on paychecks, work, and building a reputation of dependability and trust. I'm tired, to say the least, of being a work-a-holic. I'm ready to find that peace again I had three years ago. I want to find that balance between push-over and a "strict, mean and unhappy manager". I have my days where I show complete mercy and forgiveness to a person that is in a situation. I have days where I am strict to the policy and an absolute "B" to my employees and even customers, then it boils over into my family and friendships. "Burnt out" is the term I think I'm getting to. But the burnt out feeling is now becoming a burning pain that is annoying everyday I wake up and know my 8-hour shift will turn in to an easy 12- hour shift. Some days the only thing that keeps me going is the thought of "man, this next paycheck is going to be good."

Now to the real issue. I hate money. I never have enough, I'm never content, I'm never am happy with what I buy, there is always something better that will come out in a month. I hate bills. I hate debt. 

I'm sure that everyone that reads this is thinking, "Don't we all?" 

The power of money is a disease and a lot of people have it. I believe that it is worse than HIV/AIDS. People these days don't realize just how controlling this disease is. How destructive it is. How strong it is. It can control EVERYTHING about you: 

Mentally "man thats going to be a good paycheck".

Physically: Where you eat, where you live and HOW MUCH YOU WORK.

Spiritually: Tithe, do you tithe? Do you depend on God to provide what you need? or do you depend on yourself, working yourself to death?

As you know I am GUILTY as charged for having this disease. A lot of my family members have it too. It is passed from generation to generation and the chain must be broken. 

When I did missions in Smyrna, I made more than Bill Gates could ever earn.  I made friendships, I made connections, I made the community a better place by showing love and lending two willing hands. My heart got up every morning at 6:30, brewed coffee for the morning meetings and met "the boys" on my patio and met with God too. He was never late. He was always there waiting on us to come spend our morning devotion with him. Our days never seemed long, even in 100 degree weather. To us, there was not enough hours in the day.  The happiness that was generated from this, still makes me sit back and think, wow, that was some powerful stuff. 

When I came home the "Fire" or "desire to do good deeds" last about two months. I was blessed with a promotion the day I returned to work. And lets just say thats when the money disease hit my spirituality. 

Once money takes the place of God and blinds you, your mental will follow, and then your physical will come quickly after. 

God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Matthew 5:7 NLT

Thanks, KLOVE. 

I could show mercy 24/7. But due to "Policy" I am restricted. I will pay for a sandwich for someone, or I will listen to someone vent about something going on in their life. I will work a shift for you because something has come up. I will babysit, I will mow and do yard work because you can't.  Mercy. "Understanding the situation and Showing compassion to those in need of it." BUT DON'T WE ALL NEED COMPASSION??

I read this: Be nice to those you meet on the way up.  They're the same folks you'll meet on the way down.  ~Walter Winchell

 THIS DOES NOT MEAN KISS EVERYONE'S BUTT. 

I think A LOT of people get confused on this. 

Bottom Line: Do what's right, not what you think is good for you.