Reflection

January 5th, 2014.


In the last few months, I can honestly say they have been extremely emotional. I'm exhausted emotionally. Thats the best way to describe it.

Though this "journey, season, chapter" whatever you may call it, has been hard, I know where I need to go. I need to find myself in God's arms. I need to lay down my crown to Him, for I am only selfish when I wear that crown. I build alter to myself and not God. So I do what I know I need to do first. 

LOOK IN A MIRROR. 

Let's just be honest. I haven't made the best choices. I make mistakes. I attach myself to people and suffocate either myself or them. Which is horrible and ruins all friendship future. While I attach myself to one or two people, I neglect the friendships that I did have for so long. Again, I see that now that I have stopped and looked at myself and not others. I'm a constant work in progress. I struggle with trust and I know this "trust issue" has nothing to do with boys or friends. It lies deep into my childhood. Its something that I know I have struggled at least since middle school with. I didn't have a best friend until I was 20. I have lot of close friends, but no one I spoke to or hung out with everyday. After 5 years, I moved and the friendship started to crumble. Again I was starting a new life, got distracted and neglected. It was not fair on my best friend, I was wrong and blinded by "new shiny things". I have broken trust with her, I have broken her heart, I have lost that close connection.

BUT... ( this word and I have a love and hate relationship)

Though I know I have failed this friendship, maybe this connection was suppose to be broken? In my last posts, change is a constant topic. I return to this blog whenever I feel like life has taken a change. I read the posts from the past and can see the changes, the emotions, and just a glimpse of a bigger picture God is showing me. 

"I must keep moving": Its a new year, Its a new beginning, It's a new everything. If I stop, who knows when I'll start moving again? So keep going.. thats what I hear. That is what my soul is telling me.. JUST KEEP GOING.. 

So plans changes on me, people cancel plans, people move away, people change their views in life and they don't see me anywhere in their future plans, so THINGS change. While plan change on me, I'm changing my mindset. My new mindset will be to live FULL. No, not of food. But FULL like Abraham did. 

I havent been to church in a good 4 months. I went this morning. It was the first service of the year and the pastor didn't focus on "resolutions" like most do. Instead he brought forth an example to follow. To be like Abraham. Genesis 25:8 " Then Abraham breathed his last and died, after living a long and full life of many good years, and was buried with his people."  Abraham was not FULL on money. He was FULL on good health, relationships, etc. 

So we must START somewhere. God called Abraham to SEPARATE from his land and fathers house. Abraham TRUSTED. Abraham BUILT ALTARS (Dependency on GOD). TREASURE His nature. 

You must first separate yourself from what is not good for you. What is holding you back?

You must not be afraid because you don't know where you will end up. Just know you don't want to go back to where you came from. 

You must fast, depend and praise God. For He is the one directing. 

You must recognize and treasure all endings and beginnings. 

Random Thought:

My favorite song and verse have something in common, "God rescued me" is in both. I now know that that is a problem. I know God loves me and will rescue me. But why do I PUT MYSELF in a position to where God always has to rescue me. Why am I not dependent on God so much that I do not need rescuing every 6 months?  FOOD FOR THOUGHT. 

New start.

Hello.

It's been over a year since I wrote my last blog.  I read the last entry I posted and just had to sit back and think, just how much change has happened. How the season has changed, not just the natural one, but season of God's seeding and harvesting.  If you couldn't tell I recently moved to the great Sunshine State of Florida. 16 months of more pain, exhaustion, leaving my job,  getting a temp job, trying to get on a police force, losing every job and job opportunity on my birthday, was not easy. I was working 60+ a week at my CFA. I wasn't happy with where I was or what was going on. I was a few months away from graduating from Ole Miss. I was exhausted: mentally and physically. I lost sight of what was important and literally became a zombie to work and school. My family and friends got the little that was left of me and they never deserved it. But they still accepted what I gave them, the little time I awake or home.

I took a week of vacation in October of 2012 and went to see my Papa in Wisconsin. It was a great time to see him and play Yatzee every night and watch the Weather Channel. The weather channel will forever hold a place in my heart, mainly due to my Papa watching it every morning before we would go fishing in the old summer days. I took an extra week off after to clear my head and think of where I was and where I needed to head (or at least where I thought I needed to head). I came back to work and sat down with my operator. After discussing a few things, I choose to put my two weeks notice in. I knew my parents supported me, I moved back home and I took the first job that was available to me, a warehouse job.

 Seven years of working for a company and I felt like it was a downgrade to go to a warehouse. Took a pay cut. Worked paycheck to paycheck. I knew something had to happen. I could not continue to work this job either. It was not the place for me. I KNEW this job was a season. I met so many people and personalities that I would have never met in a Chick-Fil-a. March fast approached. I worked for the warehouse for 6 months. Time flew by and I'm glad it did. I had tried out for Memphis Police Department, it was a very promising opportunity and with me just finishing classes that past December, I was ready to use what I had learned and apply it to a career. I passed all the tests and just needed a phone call to set up the last doctor physical and all I had to do was sign my life over to Memphis. But apparently that wasn't God's plan. I burned a hole in God's ear about this job. But it didn't matter how much I cried, how much I begged, how much I tithed, how much I gave to Him, it wasn't  written in my plan.

It was Sunday, March 10th (25th birthday). I had forgot to check the mail that Saturday so on my way to the best friends house I stopped and checked it. Again I needed a phone call, not a letter. I had a letter. My heart sunk. I knew before opening I had lost this chance. I called my parents, who at the time were in Washington, D.C. for spring break. They were down that it didn't happen, but my parents were also happy I didn't get the job. My birthday had started off rough. I had my moment where I wanted to just crawl back and bed and start over. But that wasn't what I needed to do. I had a great birthday day with my best friend and even had her boyfriend come to dinner with us. We dropped Adam off back at his house and as Kelsie is driving down Church Rd, I lost it. I balled. I sobbed. I had no idea what I was suppose to do.

One thing I knew I needed to do, was go to work that next morning. BUT GOD HAD OTHER PLANS! At 530, I walked into the warehouse. I was grabbed by security guard and told to leave my badge and gather my things, they had made a few cuts in the warehouse and I was chosen. So within 24 hours, I lost my future career and my current one. I got in my car and cried all the way home. I yelled at God. I was so mad. I felt so discouraged and lost. I had literally hit ROCK BOTTOM.

The next three days I sought out a few job opportunities and knew I needed to decide soon. Bills don't care if you have a job or not. I had just left an interview and it was a sweet deal. Rough hours, but good pay, benefits, etc. But this job was nothing of what I had gone to school for, nor did I know what this job really did. But I was in need. I remember turning onto Pleasant Hill Rd. Driving to Starbucks to visit Kelsie. I got a text from Leslie, my first boss's wife. through a few texts, discovered she was in town and I invited her to Starbucks. Few minutes later I see my boss's truck pull in. I had no idea that Robb was in town also. So, here I am all dressed up from this interview and sitting at Starbucks on a Thursday afternoon. They asked why I wasn't at work, I then proceeded to tell them my wonderful story.

Then the unexpected happened.....

Robb said he wanted me to move to Florida to work for him at his store.

-move 435 miles away/ 8 hours away from family and friends
-leave a town that is all I know
-leave my best friend
-leave my sister who had just found out she was pregnant with her second.

I was told I wouldn't be leadership until I proved to the team I was a team player and was up to any task. I had to find a place to live. And start over. Robb told me to pray about it, talk to my family and friends, and to let him know.

I sat there at Starbucks after they left and thought for a few minutes until Kelsie got off. I told her the opportunity and she knew that it was what needed to happen. I also knew it was hard for her to hear that she could possibly lose her best friend. Going from living only 15 minutes from each other to 8 hours away was going to be hard. The next morning I picked my parents up from the airport and took them to their favorite restaurant, Casa Mexicana. I told them the whole story and my dad says "You're leaving tomorrow, right?" He's been telling me for two years to move to Florida and work for Robb.  I just never thought it was the right time.

WELL NOW IS THE TIME. After two days of thinking, praying, talking, I called Robb and told him I accepted.
"NOW WHAT??"
Two Weeks later, April 1st, (No April Fools), I moved to Florida.

From there, everything fell into place. I started that next Monday. It was like riding a bike. All the rushes, the food, the people, all new and fresh. I met new people that I'm blessed to have met and the way we just got along from the beginning was encouraging and has made the adjusting so much easier. I have gotten to know three girls down here that I am so glad I can call them friends.

Friends from Memphis and Olive Branch have come and visit and it has been nothing but Awesome to see everyone come here and see where I live. My parents came down three weeks ago and it was incredible how much fun we had with just a day and a half together.

A week after my parents came down, I received several calls and text from my sister while I was at work, my mom had gotten in a car accident and was in the hospital. I felt HELPLESS. She had flipped her car 4 times and totaled her vehicle. She was awake and alert at the hospital. She had a bruised lung, cracked rib, and a laceration on liver.  Katie, one of the three friends and coworker, took me to dinner that night and hung out with me to take my mind off of what had happened. I got to know her more and who she was. Katie left later and as I was about to go to bed, I had a knock on my door, it was Audrey and Casandra standing there with Disney movies and said we were having a girls night. We were up until 4 AM, talking, watching movies, talking some more. It was exactly what I needed. I knew right then that I was TRULY blessed with loving friends that would be there for me when things headed south.

So here I am, just like I was 16 months ago, sitting in a Starbucks drinking my Passion Tea Lemonade. But as a new Tia, a new chapter, a new state, a new season. I never saw this in my plans. As I said in my last blog, God's plans PREVAIL over mine, every time. I'm happy too that my plans didn't work out. I'm glad this plan was laid out in front of me.  Love from the Sunshine State :)
-T

Seasons

"There is a time for everything." -- "It is what it is" -- "Seasons come and go"....

No one likes change, No one likes leaving what has become comfortable. But what if you came to realization that this season has come to end. You have come to the end and you MUST see what the season has taught you. Come to means with it... And what I mean by that, is you don't necessarily have to regret or like everything you have done. You learn from the mistakes, you learn from the memories, you learn from the hate and mainly you SEEK the love that was given.  

The season that I have come to "end" really hasn't come to an end.. its more like it's shedding layers of old skins and finding the original layer and foundation of "TIA"... The Tia that was in love with missions and being a counselor and being involved in church. 

I don't know what has happened. I lost sight of a lot of things. I handle things the wrong way. I spent WAY too much money on things that didn't last. I'm finding my way back. I may have made mistakes, but there are many things that I would have never changed. They were meant to happen. They made me think outside the box, and made me see things in a different light. 

Lord, I Need You- I need your guidance. I don't like change. I don't like feeling like this. I don't know what is coming next. I don't know where I should go. I don't know what to hold on to, or let go? I want to know where I should go at this fork in the road. Move me in the direction I need to go. Put a passion back in me to seek your will and not my own personal plans. My plans have lead me to worry, pain, and exhaustion. My plans have failed me. God, your plans ALWAYS prevail over mine and everyone else's. Lord you know my heart and where my true passion lies. I pray I become the woman of God I was. I pray I lose these chains I have to areas in my life. Lord I want to learn from them and move on toward better things. Please tell me where to go. I'm lost without you. I need you to take this pain, this hurt, this exhaustion. I'm weak and need your strength, no one else's will do for me. 

-I'm ready- Are you? ( Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.)

I know this is a random post, but this verse has been on my heart all day:

A Time for Everything

 ¹ There is a time for everything, 
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 ² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

Where are you in this time? 

Wisdom

So I know it has been a while since I have last blogged, and I sure you scan through the last few ones because they were quite long. But here is another blog about Tia's Life.

Why is it when I am driving home from work around11:30 every night and I think of all the things I need to do, or want to do. Two nights ago I thought I would get up and run and eat a good breakfast  have time with God and start doing a better routine. Well, my alarm didn't go off for my 8 o'clock wake up run and I slept until 10 and then I was suppose to be at the store for payroll at 10:30.  So my point is.. why is it when you are sure you can pull off a GOOD routine, it is destroyed by something so simple like sleep or an alarm clock. Some may say "it was Satan causing it not to happen" and some will say "Oh I guess it was just not meant to happen." Either way, I felt like I had failed at something so simple.

The next day I did get up at 8:30 and with the encouragement of my best friend, went running at the park for 30 minutes. I had time with God and went to work energized. So much better than the day before.

I came upon this verse in Proverbs 4. God has called us to take his words (the Bible), pay attention and understand so they we may live a better life IN Him. I know some days we skim the verses, take the icing off the cake and spit out quick prayer for forgiveness and protection. Maybe you haven't tasted the the whole cake, or ate enough to get to the full filling of God's love and wisdom. But it's time. You want to know why you are stressed? You want to know why you feel overwhelmed by life? Because you have not taken the time to LISTEN to God's teachings. We wonder where did God go??? I've been there, many times. I wonder why is God not showing himself here? Why do I feel this weight, I thought God was suppose to take my burdens? But in all reality, I was the one who moved so far away, I was the one that swerved off the path, I stepped into the quicksand of the world or money, gossip, and disappointment.  It wasn't God. But I do know that God was there waiting every second for me to just turn to him, call to him, ask him, and seek him fully. Not ride the fence of living life the way I wanted to, but to hop off into His Love, Grace and Forgiveness.

Proverbs 4:1-9: (image God comes to you as a child and tells you this)
¹ My children,^[a] listen when your father corrects you.
      Pay attention and learn good judgment,
 ² for I am giving you good guidance.
      Don’t turn away from my instructions.
 ³ For I, too, was once my father’s son,
      tenderly loved as my mother’s only child.
 ⁴ My father taught me,
   “Take my words to heart.
      Follow my commands, and you will live.
 ⁵ Get wisdom; develop good judgment.
      Don’t forget my words or turn away from them.
 ⁶ Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you.
      Love her, and she will guard you.
 ⁷ Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!
      And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.
 ⁸ If you prize wisdom, she will make you great.
      Embrace her, and she will honor you.
 ⁹ She will place a lovely wreath on your head;
      she will present you with a beautiful crown.”


God tells us to take full acknowledgment of what He teaches.  Wisdom is referred to "She/Her". Wisdom will make you great, Embrace the Wisdom that I have spoken, and Wisdom will prevail! If you use this Wisdom, you will be given a beautiful crown.

Ever since I can remember my father, was always on me to make sure I was not just thinking about what I was doing at the moment, but also what the consequences were going to be afterwards. When we moved heavy furniture he didn't want me to just focus on the weight or the furniture itself, but he told me to watch the walls and door frames, to watch where I stepped and where I was headed. Silly I know to think that something so small and almost a every weekend conversation, and I DID get sick of him saying "watch the wall, watch where you are going, watch where your hands are, DON'T TAKE ALL THE WEIGHT". My Dad may not have known this, but as I sit here, he was preparing me for life.

Watch the walls: Watch your boundaries...
Watch where you're going: Keep you focus forward...
Watch were your hands are: Are your hands where they need to be? Serving or being selfish...?
Don't take all the weight: Don't try and handle it all by yourself...

Read the verse until Verse 20....

 ²⁰ My child, pay attention to what I say.
      Listen carefully to my words.
 ²¹ Don’t lose sight of them.
      Let them penetrate deep into your heart,
 ²² for they bring life to those who find them,
      and healing to their whole body.
 ²³ Guard your heart above all else,
      for it determines the course of your life.
 ²⁴ Avoid all perverse talk;
      stay away from corrupt speech.
 ²⁵ Look straight ahead,
      and fix your eyes on what lies before you.
 ²⁶ Mark out a straight path for your feet;
      stay on the safe  and firm path.
 ²⁷ Don’t get sidetracked;
      keep your feet from following evil.


I am not perfect, I lose sight a lot, I don't guard my heart as much as I should, and I am a sight seeker, I like to look left and right. But I want to change this. I want to be focused upon the one who WILL NOT let me fall and will guide me down the right path. 


I'm praying for you. I'm praying God will meet you where you are and comfort you. He is there for you. Just call to Him. Tell Him about your day. Tell him what your heart feels. 


Dear Heavenly Father, I know I have been silent for too long. I'm sorry for cluttering my ears and head of earthly problems and not focusing on You. I'm sorry for not living the life you have called me to. I'm sorry I get distracted so much by everyday life and don't notice you when you are at work in my life. I'm sorry I have gone astray and left you standing there on your path and made my own. I'm here, I'm back and I want to catch up. Teach me. Guide me. Let your Will be done, not mine. I know many days I think I have the best plan, but God.. yours always prevails and beats mine better a thousands times more. I love your creations. I thank you for bringing me this far in life, for providing me with what I need and not what I want, and thank you for showing me what the difference is. I thank you for the people who have crossed my path and have stayed or left. You put them there to make me who I am today. I can't say it enough, but Thank you. Lord give me the desire to fight the GOOD fight and not the evil one that is fought here on this earth. Lord please take my burdens and help face my trials and obstacles with me. Thank you, you are more than enough for me. In Your Gracious name I pray... Amen.

What would you do?

Last night I was at Wal-Mart with Kelsie, honestly I never want to be there for very long because I go in for 2.00 eggs and come out with eggs and 198$ of other stuff. I was getting only a few more things and Kelsie stopped me from going over my budget which was 50$. She so good at that! I was standing in the self-check out line, and a lady said "excuse me." I moved over thinking I was in her way, but that wasn't it. She came up to me and starting telling me this story. She had left her husband that beat her for years and had a 2 year old and 12 year old. The two-year old was in the cart and I noticed that all she had in the cart was clothes for the little one. The lady said she had left everything behind to escape from him. She asked me NOT to pay for everything, but to just help her out. I gave her 5 dollars cash. Two things, I know some of you are are like "WHY DID YOU DO THAT? IT'S A SCAM!" and the other thing is "If it wasn't a scam I bought that little girl a long sleeve shirt." 

It makes me feel better knowing that IF that lady was not lying to me, I gave something. I didn't give all, but at least I didn't turn her away. I'm not going snootie. God gave me this money for a reason. I want to be helpful anyway I can, but not a complete push over. I know that this lady could have gotten in a lot of trouble if someone had called the cops on her, but I did give her 5 dollars, trust me for a while after I thought about all the "What if's." but it comes down to, did you do what was right in your eyes. At the moment, yes I did. And Thats all that matters. God didn't do detective work on everyone before he gave me my job to earn this money. 

Overall why should we be skeptical of everyone's true motives. If she was scamming me, WAHOO she got 5 dollars. But didn't hurt me financially. I would have been scammed if i had paid for everything in the cart. 

But as I checked out, she was in the next line, she took my 5 dollars and my 5 dollars only to pay for one item in the cart and gave the rest back to the cashier because she couldn't afford it.

Again I will pray for her and hope all the best that she keeps her head up in this time. 

We must help everyone we can with our gifts. We are not put here on this earth to gather and save meaningless things and money. 

End of Times

I know this is long, but everyone that wants to go to heaven needs to read and listen to this. I'm not a bible thumper, but please take the time to read and listen to the sermon. Please. God Bless You!


Last week in church we discussed the end of times, How it will look like and what we should be doing and should continue doing until that time. Here is the message if you want to hear my pastor speak on it. "That's all folks" 


About 13 minutes into the message he talks about how the world WILL NEVER end on a date set by man. 

He moves into the book of 2 Peter. Verse 8 --⁸ But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. ⁹ The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.--



²⁸ “Now learn a lesson from the fig tree. When its branches bud and its leaves begin to sprout, you know that summer is near. ²⁹ In the same way, when you see all these things taking place, you can know that his return is very near, right at the door. ³⁰ I tell you the truth, this generation^[k] will not pass from the scene before all these things take place. ³¹Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear.
 ³² “However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows. ³³ And since you don’t know when that time will come, be on guard! Stay alert^[l]!
 ³⁴ “The coming of the Son of Man can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. When he left home, he gave each of his slaves instructions about the work they were to do, and he told the gatekeeper to watch for his return. ³⁵ You, too, must keep watch! For you don’t know when the master of the household will return—in the evening, at midnight, before dawn, or at daybreak. ³⁶ Don’t let him find you sleeping when he arrives without warning. ³⁷ I say to you what I say to everyone: Watch for him!”



Every generation says they think  that God is coming back when they are alive. A day is like a thousand of years.  -- Jewish scholars have studied and said this is not an figure of speech. For instance this is a picture of God's timing. 


From the beginning to the end is 7 days (7 days to create the world- 7 days to end the world) .. each day is representing a thousand years. 


From Adam to Jesus it was: 4 generations = 4000 years


From Jesus to Now is 2000 years

4000+2000=6000 and so 1 day left. 


Meaning-- We are closer than ever. The dawn of the "7th day" is approaching and at the dawn of the 7th day the reign will come. 


This generation-- OUR GENERATION-- has the MOST influence of positive and gospel spreading capabilities. (Phones and Computers and all of technology)


2000 nations-- and USA is most capable!!


People will be doing their own thing - Times will be like back in Noah's Time---- Matthew 24:37-39, “When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah’s day. In those days before the flood, the people were enjoying banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat. People didn’t realize what was going to happen until the flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of Man comes.” (NLT)




LISTEN TO THIS SERMON AND Here is the Sheet from the service:

October 15th/16th, 2011 Discussion Guide

What Time is IT?!?!

Matthew 24:3-14; 36 (NLT) II Peter 3:3-10 (NLT)

Message Recap

People will do their own thing.

Matthew 24:37-39, “When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah’s day. In those days before the flood, the people were enjoying banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat. People didn’t realize what was going to happen until the flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of Man comes.” (NLT)

Ask yourself, “how am I viewing...

• ... people” - Are you easily offended? Do you hold grudges or have anger/bitterness/strife?

• ... life” - Are you constantly the victim? Does it seem that everyone / everything is out to get you? Are you the center of your life?

• ... stuff” - Does the thought of a new home, new car, new clothes, big vacations consume your thoughts, your time, your resources?

People will forget God.

Matthew 24:12, “Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold.” (NLT)

People will not be ready.

Matthew 24:40-42, “Two men will be working together in the field; one will be taken, the other left. Two women will be grinding flour at the mill; one will be taken, the other left. So you too, must keep watch! For you don’t know what day your Lord is coming.” (NLT)

I Thessalonians 5:2, “For you know quite well that the day of the Lord’s return will come unexpectedly, like a thief in the night.” (NLT)

Discussion Questions:

Q. What if you knew Jesus was coming back this year? What are some of the things that you would do - or do differently?

Q. Pastor Patrick said that one of the signs of the times is that people will do their own thing; that instead of being heavenly minded, they will be earthly minded. Describe some ways that you have been earthly minded instead of heavenly minded. What can you do to flip that around?

Q. Read Matthew 24:12 - Give some examples of what may cause our love to grow cold. What are some “warning signs” in our own life that might indicate that our “love is growing cold”?

Q. The Bible says that in the end days, people will not be ready. This is something that cause concern for people, as they worry about whether they are ready for the return of Christ. If you have dealt with this concern in your life, share your experience.

Q. Paul uses the phrase “thief in the night” to describe the return of Christ. What does this terminology imply to you?

Q. Read Titus 2:13- What impact does knowing Christ is coming back make in your life? What does it look like to have hope?

If “The End” is near...

WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT!?!?

I Peter 4:7-10, “The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers. Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or place to stay. God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” (NLT)

1 - Pray (vs. 7) – What are some things that you can change about your prayer life this week? 

2 - Focus on Relationships (vs. 8-9) – Are their relationships in your life that needs mending? What can you do this week to begin the journey of reconciliation? 

3 - Use your Gifts (vs. 10-11) – What are some of the gifting’s you believe God has put inside of you? What are some ways that you can begin to use them? 

4 - Get your life right with God - II Peter 3:11-

Turn away from evil

^{2 Peter 3:17...
17} Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. ¹⁸ But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

Wisconsin

This is where I'll be in a week. 

 This is my grandparents house. I love it there. It holds so many memories. So much love. So much safety. 

I spent many summers with them here, fishing, working, cooking, washing dishes, watching the weather. 

The memories of this house and my grandparents I will never forget. 

Though there won't be any snow when I get there. I plan on enjoying every moment there. 

Its been two years since I've seen my papa.

4 years since my grandmother passed. 

Her love is still in this house. Her love was so strong and honest. It was actual love that was warming when you were just near her. 

I forgot to post this one a while back..

Myspace Style:

Title: My Week
Current Mood: Calm
Music: "Say it Ain't So": Weezer-- "Kings of Leon- Pandora Station"

I woke up this morning, decided to get up, go get a extra hot caramel macchiato. Since I have no internet or cable in the house, I tend to go to Starbucks to read the news, drink coffee and pretty much relax before work and not spend money. Things always seem to go good until you happen to spill coffee on yourself. Now I have coffee stains on my jeans. :/

But anyways, that is not the point of my post. Through the week I will be thinking about something and think "I could write about that in my blog" and when it comes down to writing my blog, I forget everything I thought about writing.

Well maybe I will just start talking about my week...

I have work a total of 103.75 hours in the last two weeks.  I was getting up at 5 every other morning and taking deliveries, doing truck orders and then going home taking 30 minute nap and go back to work from 2pm- 11pm. I love weeks like that though. I stay busy. I feel like I have a purpose. I don't spend money. I'm helping for the good of the company.

I encountered a few customers this week. These customers were the "silent" bad ones. No, I'm not talking about anything smelling, I talking about the ones that like to rack up on all the free condiments and napkins they can stuff in their bags. I know the economy is bad. But if you think about what these customers are doing, they are creating a chain reaction. They are making our prices go up in food so we can afford the proper condiments. So while you are "saving money" on condiments at home.. In a few months, you will be paying for it when you eat at restaurants (Not just mine). Before you rack up on the "free stuff". Just remember you're not helping the economy any. God tells us not to hoard anything of this world, including food. So why? Why do it?

I could write a book on the adventures of fast food. And for once, it wouldn't be about the "secret food" that goes undiscussed, because there isn't any in my restaurant. It would literally be about the customers and employees. It would be full of laughs and "seriously??'s"  If you have every worked in fast food, you may feel my joy and pain in this. But I'm sure someone would sue me for some stupid reason, so why take the time to write it? If you want stories just ask me.

I was rather frustrated through the week. It feels somedays I go the second mile for people at work or even in public, and it's goes a long time until I even someone acknowledge it or go the second mile for me. And it gets discouraging, and makes me think why do I continue do this?? My old operator Robb always told his leadership, "No matter what, do whats right." It was an open-ended statement, but still you continue to do the good work for the unknown rewards that only God knows and holds.

On a funny note, a few nights ago, a new girl said "How many nuggets do I get with my 8 nugget employee meal?"---- I stood there for a second and probably thought about what she said about 10 times before saying.."Repeat what you just said to me...and listen to yourself." Lets just say there are just some kids I worry about. She wanted to be a teacher she told me in her interview. (hopefully not a math one).

Anyways.. til next time..

I love...

People tend to ask me what I love.

I love the fact that I am in love with the most amazing and creative artist and musician in everything, God.

I love the creator of the things I love...make sense?

"I love fall"

I love the design of even the smallest things, because he took time to make them unique

I love the surprises you wake up to..

If you stop and take in what God has and IS creating around you. What you are stressed with is man made or self made. Not God made... 

I saw this bumper sticker in Nashville and loved it..

It says "He Came".."He Died".."He Arose".."He Ascended".. and  "He's COMING BACK!"

Awesome!

I think everyone, including me, forgets that he is coming back. We focus on how far away he is and how lost we are. If we all focus on him, he's right next to you.

These are just a few photos from my phone. More will be coming.

Thanks for reading.

Unexpected..

Life is...
       Miscommunicated. Unfortunate. Crazy. Confusing. Undecided. Unexpected.

When we wake up, all we know is we are alive and we have somewhat of a plan, but the details are truly unknown. We could have woken up late due to us completely relying on technology, but it fails us. We could have woke up and during getting ready you stub your toe, your hair is not cooperating what so ever  and dryer stopped working and your clothes are damp still. Not only are you limping when you get to work, you look like crap.  WHAT A WAY TO START YOUR DAY!

What if you woke up and everything was fine. Everything was working as it should. You get to your car, and it is broken into?

What if everything was fine until your lunch hour and you find out at a cooperate lunch, your identity has been stolen and all your card bounce. Not only are you embarrassed, you are sent into a whirl wind of getting your identity back.

Life is full of unexpected turns and twists.

This past week has been a tornado for me. The work week is starting great. I made a step into my life that will make me a true independent individual on Monday morning. Monday went okay overall. Then came Tuesday. I opened the store up and everything was going good. I even got a "John Wayne" from Starbucks before my shift, that drink contains 5 shot of expresso. So if you can imagine, I was literally bouncing off the walls. Lets say the customer service and attentive scores went up that day! But at 10:30, I happened to answer the phone and hear "Yes, may I speak with Tia Freoidngdfdn" (Of course they pronounce my name wrong). I confirm its me but a few security questions. Soon I find out I'm talking with Visa. They said that large purchases were made late last night on my account and said that they wanted to confirm that I did or did not make these purchases. My emotions were boiling at this moment. I was shaking. WHY ME? How?? My card is always with me. I got online and checked my account and sure enough two transactions were made on my account. One for 120$ to a fruit company in Oregon. The second was 720$ to an american express gift card.

My heart fell to the floor. My Gen. Manager came in and said what was going on. Told her (well screamed really). I was so caught up in the moment. I apologized later, don't worry. I went to the bank and clock out of work (making me miss about 4 hours of work). The lady said it was good that i caught it before it went through into my account. Visa caught them while they were still pending.

I had applied for a card on the 5th of August and I was denied due to "too many applications containing my ssn." The next day I got LifeLock. I'll pay 15$ a month to make sure that my identity isn't stolen anymore.

Overall this whole week has been STRESSFUL.

But then Friday came with not the best news. My Best Friends grandmother had past away after battling some health problems. The woman as I knew named "Magu" was a very sweet grandmother, spoke her mind and also welcomed me into her house on Thanksgiving having never met me before that. Apparently it was rare for her to leave her chair, but when I walked in she got up and hugged me. She was good company watching us play Wii and also loved her grandchildren with everything she had and was.

Though my week was horrible. Death of a special person like that brings everyone back to the basics of what is REALLY important. It brought back memories of my grandmothers life and passing and how fast it all went. She was at my sisters wedding at the end of July, but she passed away in September the same year.  A check-up went wrong. Thanks to the doctors and nurses mistake they took her faster than she really should have gone. I'm not bitter. She is better off up there watching me live life and she still lives on in my blood and in my heart forever. She will always be a part of me. My mom says I have her serving heart.  

The fact that I will see these loved ones once again bring me hope and joy.

God is good, even if we don't understand anything he is doing. Thats why life is confusing. Thats why life is so not what WE planned. God knows when the people has lived their purpose. God knows when they are ready for picking. God knows the right season. God knows when your life is not going the way you want. God probably laughs at our plans. All we see is the small picture in Olive Branch, MS. Not the Universe.

Life is not what we think it is. It is not what we planned. Life is God's property. He is a jealous God. He will always prevail through everything. He is Sovereign. He is Everything this that is Good. Give thanks for the Ups and Downs of life.

 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)


I do not want to lack anything. I want to have perseverance through everything, but I can't have true perseverance without God. Without God, I am selfish in my ways and gaining everything for all the wrong reasons.

Luggage Free

“No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”

Micah 6:8 NLT

I like to start my blogs out with a verse or at least include a verse mainly to keep me from turning the blog into nothing but a place to whine about life.

God has told us what is good. God shows us every moment He can to show what is good. Do you stop and notice it?

I believe that people come in and out of my life for a reason. There are reasons why people stay longer than some and there are reasons why people like me and don't like me for the time we had together. Though I don't like when someone is not "satisfied" or content with who I am, it's un-avoid-able. And You can't dwell on it.

About a month and a half ago, my parents went on vacation for a week, but before they left, at the last dinner, my dad had told me that he had "tweeted". To my surprise my dad had beat me to twitter. So twenty minutes later, I had one too. One reason was to see exactly what he had said and also I didn't want my dad beating me in the "new technology". Well, after that I have been just watching and following others. I found this one "tweeter" called @TheNotebook. It is quotes of relationship and friendship. It tweets every 5 minutes, seriously. But this one stuck out to me. "Never ignore a person who loves and cares for you. One day you may realize you've lost the moon while counting the stars."

It made me think of who have I been ignoring when I was focused on someone or something else. I sat back and thought "hey I'll look at my friends list on facebook, maybe there is someone I need to reach out to?" And there was a lot of people I had not spoken to in a very long time. There were some that I know that don't like me, but somehow we are friends on facebook? I laugh at that. We are friends on facebook, but we have a bad past. It's like when it comes down to "deleting" someone on facebook, it really makes you think, what REALLY happened? Ever think back and can't remember what happened between you and this person. Ever feel like it still hurts? Does it feel like yesterday? 

Have you ever heard of Rob Bell? I haven't read or heard is recent stuff, but I love his mini-message movies. The whole set of movies is over 200$ so I do the cheap version and youtube it. :) But This one still gets me every time.

Watch all of it. It's worth it.

I watch it and the line that catches me is, "If you can't 'wish them well' you haven't forgiven them." If you can't forgive, you are still carrying this luggage.

When you ask "where is God during this.." Ask for him. Give everything to God.

Bottom line: Let Go and Let God. Remember, God hasn't let you go, even if you have. Forgive. God forgave you for what you did too.

Paycheck to Paycheck...

For 6 years now, I've depended on paychecks, work, and building a reputation of dependability and trust. I'm tired, to say the least, of being a work-a-holic. I'm ready to find that peace again I had three years ago. I want to find that balance between push-over and a "strict, mean and unhappy manager". I have my days where I show complete mercy and forgiveness to a person that is in a situation. I have days where I am strict to the policy and an absolute "B" to my employees and even customers, then it boils over into my family and friendships. "Burnt out" is the term I think I'm getting to. But the burnt out feeling is now becoming a burning pain that is annoying everyday I wake up and know my 8-hour shift will turn in to an easy 12- hour shift. Some days the only thing that keeps me going is the thought of "man, this next paycheck is going to be good."

Now to the real issue. I hate money. I never have enough, I'm never content, I'm never am happy with what I buy, there is always something better that will come out in a month. I hate bills. I hate debt. 

I'm sure that everyone that reads this is thinking, "Don't we all?" 

The power of money is a disease and a lot of people have it. I believe that it is worse than HIV/AIDS. People these days don't realize just how controlling this disease is. How destructive it is. How strong it is. It can control EVERYTHING about you: 

Mentally "man thats going to be a good paycheck".

Physically: Where you eat, where you live and HOW MUCH YOU WORK.

Spiritually: Tithe, do you tithe? Do you depend on God to provide what you need? or do you depend on yourself, working yourself to death?

As you know I am GUILTY as charged for having this disease. A lot of my family members have it too. It is passed from generation to generation and the chain must be broken. 

When I did missions in Smyrna, I made more than Bill Gates could ever earn.  I made friendships, I made connections, I made the community a better place by showing love and lending two willing hands. My heart got up every morning at 6:30, brewed coffee for the morning meetings and met "the boys" on my patio and met with God too. He was never late. He was always there waiting on us to come spend our morning devotion with him. Our days never seemed long, even in 100 degree weather. To us, there was not enough hours in the day.  The happiness that was generated from this, still makes me sit back and think, wow, that was some powerful stuff. 

When I came home the "Fire" or "desire to do good deeds" last about two months. I was blessed with a promotion the day I returned to work. And lets just say thats when the money disease hit my spirituality. 

Once money takes the place of God and blinds you, your mental will follow, and then your physical will come quickly after. 

God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Matthew 5:7 NLT

Thanks, KLOVE. 

I could show mercy 24/7. But due to "Policy" I am restricted. I will pay for a sandwich for someone, or I will listen to someone vent about something going on in their life. I will work a shift for you because something has come up. I will babysit, I will mow and do yard work because you can't.  Mercy. "Understanding the situation and Showing compassion to those in need of it." BUT DON'T WE ALL NEED COMPASSION??

I read this: Be nice to those you meet on the way up.  They're the same folks you'll meet on the way down.  ~Walter Winchell

 THIS DOES NOT MEAN KISS EVERYONE'S BUTT. 

I think A LOT of people get confused on this. 

Bottom Line: Do what's right, not what you think is good for you.